10 Signs that your Child is Asking for Help

• How do you know if your child needs to come in for therapy?
• What changes in your child's behavior have you noticed over the last few months/ the last year?
• When do you have an aversion to being around your child? When do you love spending time with him/her?
• Have you been having more melt-downs recently when your child begins acting out?
• If your child needs therapy, does it mean your a bad parent?

Your child may be asking for help if...

1. Her play has gotten increasingly violent or chaotic. Adults can usually tell by the toys children choose, the dialogue, or the level of energy. You have developed an aversion to being around your child during play, and aren't quite sure why. Isn't play supposed to be fun?

2. He is potty-trained, but has regular accidents during the day or at night. You are confused as to why you need to have him in Pull-Ups at this age and are concerned that his school, or your friends will start to question you about this issue.

3. She comes home from school complaining that she was bullied again. You've talked with her about staying safe at school and even had a conversation with her principal about the bully, but nothing seems to be changing and you don't want this to continue.

4. He is terrified to go to daycare/school. For no apparent reason, he has started throwing temper tantrums in the mornings stating that he won't come to school and that he is sick. You have tried everything from giving him incentives, to demanding he get in the car, to giving in and letting him stay home. Nothing seems to work!

5. She just isn't making any friends. Even with school and after-school activities, she is unable to make friends. The other kids tell her she's mean, dorky, or that she cries too much, and in her frustration she sometimes lashes out at them. Since you can't be there with her at school, it's hard for you to know how to help her socialize.

6. He's achieving below his potential in school. Almost out of the blue, he has stopped performing to his potential. He used to be a good student, but now he's no longer completing/turning in assignments and his grades are suffering. You've spoken with his teacher and she agrees that he is capable of more.

7. She hasn't been acting like herself lately. Your loving child has recently been acting like a monster. Your outgoing child has become so quiet and scared. You know something's not right, but when you ask her what's going on, she tells you she's fine.

8. He just won't stop fighting with his siblings. You know that a degree of sibling rivalry is normal, but this is getting to be too much! Whenever he's around them, he picks a fight that normally ends up with somebody crying and you yelling. You want some peace and ease, but don't know how to keep him from antagonizing his brothers and sisters.

9. She's handling a big event or transition way too well. You are shocked, and a little suspicious, that she hasn't made a bigger deal out of what has happened. You are still dealing with the after effects of the change, but she constantly lets you know that she is doing just fine and that nothing's wrong.

10. He won't stop lying. You even have proof that he's not telling the truth, but he won't fess up. You are frustrated, and baffled. He would get in so much less trouble if he just told me the truth!

Being a good parent means listening to the subtle cues your child gives you when her needs are not being met, and taking action to meet those needs. For example, you feed her when she starts getting fussy, you put her to bed when her eyes are at half-mast. The above list gives examples of cues children give their parents when something is bothering them. You can never be a bad parent by listening to your child and seeking out support when support is needed.